Everyone has a poignant exclusion story.

Maybe it was a party.

Maybe it was a clique.

Maybe it was a team.

Maybe it was a club.

The group could have been anything, but the feelings were the same – insignificance, unworthiness and shame.

It just hurt.

Can you feel it now?

Do you even want to remember it?

“Anyone can be made to feel like an outsider. It’s up to the people who have the power to exclude. Often it’s on the basis of race. Depending on a culture’s fears and biases, Jews can be treated as outsiders. Muslims can be treated as outsiders. Christians can be treated as outsiders. The poor are always outsiders. The sick are often outsiders. People with disabilities can be treated as outsiders. Members of the LGBTQ community can be treated as outsiders. Immigrants are almost always outsiders. And in most every society, women can be made to feel like outsiders—even in their own homes. Overcoming the need to create outsiders is our greatest challenge as human beings.” Melinda Gates

Exclusion or being the outsider is experienced too frequently by those with disabilities and their families. They are too often left off the invite list for playdates, parties, life events and activities and must advocate for inclusion at school and in the community.  It’s painful and exhausting.

Some say we have come a long way.

Others say that we can still do better.

Recently, I heard of a situation that reminded me we can still improve.  Due to the change in graduation ceremonies because of COVID-19, a school district organized the distribution of graduation lawn signs to celebrate the graduates from their high schools (comprehensive, alternative, adult, GED).  The day of the distribution, some of the parents of post-secondary graduates (22-year-old special education students) asked about signs for their children, who were also completing their time in public education, a huge milestone and transition.

There were no signs for these students.

No signs would be purchased for these students. 

Various reasons and excuses were given for excluding them from sign distribution and for ignoring this milestone.

The total cost for the additional signs would have been about $65.  

That was the price tag for inclusion.

And for some reason, in that district, $65 was too high of a price to be part of the group.

But, it can be different. And that difference is seen when those who have the power to exclude use their power instead to include.

“Inclusive education is about embracing all, making a commitment to do whatever it takes to provide each student in the community—and each citizen in a democracy—an inalienable right to belong, not to be excluded. Inclusion assumes that living and learning together is a better way that benefits everyone, not just children who are labeled as having a difference (Falvey, Givner & Kimm, 1995, p.8).”

No effort to include a child in the school village is ever wasted.

No effort to include a child in the community village is ever wasted.

No effort to include a child in the family village is ever wasted.

And the benefits of inclusion are exponential for the those including and those being included.

It’s time to include ALL of the children.